Domestic Conflict Resolution needs Courageous Conversations

Domestic Conflict Resolution needs Courageous Conversations if we ever wish to reduce gender violence.

Courageous Conversations
Courageous Conversations

Two weeks back I start walking the streets of Soweto, promoting the Ubuntu Food Chain, and Human Dictate, and the following ‘Women’s Physical Security’ ‘world map’ attracts attention,  I included it in earlier writings, where I simply attached blame to the Coloniser, my mindset did not try to analyse it.

Domestic Violence Resolution, Woman' Physical Security;
Woman’ Physical Security;

I had questioned why domestic violence is prevalent in the previously colonised countries, and during our discussion, I make the comment that I personally have only been aware of one domestic violence issue during sixteen years, even though I have watched carefully.

One of my ‘brothers’ of ten years, ‘R’, makes the following comment, “There are problems, but the police, the lawyers, the social counsellors, do not help, on the TV, all these ‘not in my name’ activists, make a lot of money, but do not come and talk to the people.”    

We are in the process of forming the Ubuntu Food Chain executive, and Domestic Conflict Resolution becomes our priority,     

The above ‘world map’ that the women in Europe, is at the least risk of violence, followed by the women USA, Australia, and the south of South America.

Our first question why Argentine, Paraguay, and Chile’s women’s physical security, is the same shade of  green as the USA and Australia?

I return home seeking an answer to this question, and arranging to return two days later to launch our Domestic Conflict Resolution forum, and invite the group to invite other elders to join our next meeting.

I do my research, and structure the suggested process, on how the forum could operate. 

According to my Google search;

Domestic violence in Argentina is a serious issue. … However, the policies of Argentina have been criticised for being weak, primarily due to focusing on civil, rather than criminal dealing with this form of violence, and for stressing conciliation between victim and perpetrator.

Focusing on civil rather than criminal dealing with domestic violence, is considered to be a weak policy of control, by the Western Capitalist Democracy, when the principle of conciliation between victim and perpetrator, is African culture, and practiced by many other cultural groups.

The Australian white woman’s risk of violence, is 40 times less than the Aborigine woman, causing the darker shade of green.

Domestic violence, in the Aboriginal group, has escalated during the past twenty years. The Australian State, is considered to be a ‘nanny state’, every aspect of  the populations daily lives are controlled, the Aborigine group, is the minority of the population, why has Australia as a nanny state, not been able to achieve an equal state of woman security for all, for my answer, I quote extract from Google;

There are multiple complex and diverse factors contributing to the high levels and severity of family violence in Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander communities. It must be clearly understood that the causes do not derive from Aboriginal culture. Family violence is not part of Aboriginal culture. However, the disadvantage, dispossession and attempted destruction of Aboriginal cultures since colonisation have meant that family violence has proliferated in Aboriginal communities.

I return to Soweto on Thursday 27, with a very clear understanding of the need to follow the Argentina model, very simply, we will introduce the concept, and invite those who feel like getting into conflict, to approach us.

I have heard that we have a number of ‘elders’ who wish to participate, Human Dictate, Ubuntu Food Chain, needs to be put on ice.


I walk into a new world, the world of ‘papgeld’ how could I never have seen this media circus, a media circus that encourages the support of the mother’s maintenance claim, and a media circus  that makes their income off the ridiculing and defaming the father.

‘R’ has fifteen people, woman and men, who would like to get involved in the Domestic Conflict Resolution, all as victims, all been in conflict for many years, silently, the police, the lawyers, the social counsellors, the courts, all performing according to the western democratic norms, done their job, taken their money, given the man the maximum sentence, and in most cases, the father and the mother are left in conflict.

‘R’ becomes victim 1, in 2009 he is jailed 2,400 hours, to serve ‘periodic’ 1,000 suspended, a judgement to pay R 26 000.00 arrears maintenance, and for very R 3 000.00 he paid, 20 hours would be reduced from his suspended sentence.

Hidden in the scenario is the family home, registered in the name of the father, occupied by the mother, value, maybe R 2-million, not part of the divorce settlement, only a brief media mention, why is his never part of the Court proceedings? 

I take the ‘R’ files home with me, I read, I re-read, the Magistrates, the Judges, all following the legal structure, applying the western capitalist law to an African culture that is in conflict, judgements that should never have occurred, domestic conflict that originated in 1995, three children cultivated in the domestic violence for fifteen years, a family in conflict. 

To all the “Not in my Name” activists, your activism should not be directed at ‘keeping our streets safe’, we should all be at the family court, helping the awaiting trail prisoners at sun-city, the gender violence conflict is not on the street, it is in the home, hidden by embarrassment, hidden by he stigma attached to the ‘brand’, don’t be afraid to support the father, it may save the wife and children.


Domestic Conflict Resolution Courageous Conversations:

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